swing life away

idk if i’m still feeling this.

Granny has been singing all day through her wind chimes.
I talked to my other grandma for the first time since the outburst last weekend.
I got lots of jewelry, 2 cakes, and gifts from my friends.

It’s been a pretty good day.

Granny’s birthday is tomorrow.
Oh how I miss you so much.
I love you forever <3

Rest Easy.

And still no word from Grandma.

Grandmas are supposed to be that one person that will always give you unconditional love and support. They’re supposed to be that person that brags to the ladies at the beauty shop about their perfect grandchildren. They’re supposed to always be there and shower you with presents and gratitude.

Today, my grandma told me that I didn’t respect her and that I ignore her on purpose. She ended the ride home from the baby shower with the words
“I don’t care if you ever talk to me again.”

I have never cried so violently in my life. I couldn’t breathe and I was bent over the toilet. I thought I was going to be sick. My head was pounding and I was gasping for air I couldn’t find. I couldn’t talk and I was shaking. It was the worst feeling of my life and now I don’t know if that tie will ever be fixed.

A grandma’s love is supposed to last a lifetime, but it looks like my lifetime came up short.

I. Can’t. Wait.